A short essay contrasting stick-based accountability bets with a gentler system the author and their partner use for daily habits: whoever finishes their task gets to send the other a song, turning motivation into a chance to bring joy to someone else rather than a fear of failure.
Accountability mechanisms can be joyful
My partner and I both have things we'd like to do every day. For her, it's a set of concussion exercises; for me, some type of workout. Recently, we've experimented with a music-based accountability mechanism: any time one of us completes their task, they can send a song for the other person to listen to. It's still early yet, but it's been surprisingly effective, and I want to talk a little bit about why.
One of the most useful tips I got from Thinking Fast and Slow was to use accountability bets. It's easy to ignore important tasks which don't feel visceral; e.g. to not finish a dissertation thesis despite having direct monetary rewards to do so. One makes an accountability bet with a friend; if one does not complete the task in a set time-frame, they suffer some concrete harm. They might have to give a large sum of money to a abhorrent cause, or give up coffee for a week. Once, I offered to give up my screen time settings. To increase motivation, accountability bets magnify the stick,
That kinda sucks. It's uncomfortable to be the friend proffering the deal, and stressful when you are the one trying to complete the goal. For things which are personal projects, they can easily turn intrinsic motivation into an extrinsic fear of failure ... which isn't great. They have their uses (particularly for important projects), but are limited.
Accountability doesn't need to be stressful, though. This music-based system is fun because it plays on a whole different set of motivations. If I don't work out, the only consequence is I can't share a piece of music. But if I do work out, I get to bring joy to a person I love. Importantly, this joy isn't selfish: if my partner is having a bad day, I get the chance to share a song that might make her feel better. Instead of magnifying the stick, I've watered the carrot.
This is not to say that the traditional accountability bet structure is not useful; if I need to do a large, difficult thing, sending an individual song might not be sufficient motivation. But it is also not the only pattern, and for recurring small things, it may not be the best one.